Assumption , Presumption and Expectation

I recall a couple of conversations with a few friends the other day.

Sample 1 : "So and so actress had a baby" said one.
"She is not married, is she" said another.
"Yes" replied the first.
" How come then .. " asked the second.

To which the first one quickly retorted with " what has marriage got to do with having a baby?". For a split second the entire conversation came to a standstill and minds churned with this thought , and slowly all laughed and agreed that marriage and baby are not linked after all !!

Sample 2 : yet another friend told me that " so and so had a ten year courtship you know !"
I immediately asked , "was it with the same person who is her husband now?"

She seemed shocked and replied to me as though I am raising an obviously irrelevant piece of question. Slowly she realised that it is not obvious and that there is a scope to further probe the same.

Sample 3 : I know the son and daughter of a senior musician , both of whom dont sing, though they like music and have a good ear for it.They are successful in their chosen spheres of life. Everytime someone meets them the conversation goes thus :
"you are so and so's child, dont you sing at all? how come?" or alternatively
" you are a great singers child, you must sing". " being a singers child it should be quite natural that you should be singing too ".

Why should it be natural only this way? Is it a mandate that a singer's child is a singer or a doctor's child is a doctor? What is so abnormal if the same profession did not interest the child as their father or mother?

Sample 4 : The other day my niece was seen out with her brother, by some friends. Immediately she was scolded for telling them that she is married ! to which my niece replied, she is but not to this man !! The shock in the faces around cannot be expressed by words. My iece slowly introduced her brother to all of them!

Is it a rule that any man , a woman is seen out with has t o be her husband? Cant he be a brother, cousin, colleague or just a friend ?

Why I am discussing this , is because, very often we assume , presume and then form opinions, build expectations and then thrust the same onto others.
Everytime and for every thing we use the same yardstick and pass judgements and if the other person were to not live upto our opinions or expectations, then we consider the other person as wrong , flawed, abnormal or failed !

In Sample 1, Is there a direct link to marriage and child birth? We all know that there is none, but yet our minds are so conditioned that we ask the same standard stuff.
In Sample 2, Why should a person marry only that person he or she courted for 10 years? It may or may not be the same person. Whey then do we always assume only one approach?
In Sample 3, Why should a singers child aslo sing? Cant she dance? Cant she be a corporate executive or a politician?
In Sample 4 , Why does the brain work only unidimensionally, as though if a man and woman were to be seen together, they have to be married to each other?

Little do we realise while talking that we may wound or hurt someone by what WE consider, best as morals or what we consider best as best ! The best of educated , so called logical minds, always jump to conclusive evidences based on pre conditioning of thoughts and ideas and shut the brain process of thinking laterally. If they find something contrary , its a shock, its a shame !!

The more we cease to assume, presume and expect, the better would be our society around us, as then we allow breathers for free flow of thoughts, ideas and actions. Then acceptance of people and actions also would be easier and happier.